Month: February 2016

Restorative Justice, Part 1

/ Lanae / Leave a comment

My tagline says, “mindfully speaking and living love, compassion, and justice.” Since I’ve shared much already about love and compassion, perhaps it’s time to begin talking more about justice, to echo the belovedness of justice, to implore a justice that echoes and encourages belovedness.

The things that I have been sharing with you – deep listening; watering seeds of grace, gratitude, and goodness; even the practice of equanimity, finding emotional and spiritual steadiness – all lead into the notion of a justice of belovedness, also. These practices are mindfulness practices, but also justice practices, about first dealing with our own selves in just ways, then seeking to deal with others in just ways. Just communication, just interactions, just relationships … healing communication, healing interactions, healing relationships.

I’ve used the phrase ‘restorative justice,’ or ‘transformative justice,’ in past posts, and I’m feeling moved to share about what those words mean, what they mean to me. I decided to research into the concept more deeply, and learned so much about restorative justice as an alternative to the current criminal justice system presently dominant in this country (and many others) – a retributive rather a restorative system.

I do want to share more about the spirit and practices of restorative vs retributive justice and the relationship of suffering and social justice. Indeed, I even have a lot about it written already, but there is only so much that can be crammed into one post, which is why I decided to turn this topic into a multi-part series of posts!

However, I realized I wanted, needed, first to clarify what I was initially envisioning when I spoke of ‘restorative justice,’ to lay as clear a foundation as I can. I was centering upon a mindful relational and spiritual perspective, about healing and restoring the imbalances of justice that exist in the very way we perceive and live in relationship and interact with one another. Yes, the social aspects then follow; reformation or transformation of social structures, of the criminal justice system. Restorative justice flows into and blends with social justice.

But first, I simply want to look at what I see as a major root of restorative justice, a reason for the need and the value of it. I see it as the root because I tend to see life and living and relationships through a spiritual lens, a lens of mindful spirituality, and because I am deeply concerned with and passionate about the healing of our souls, healing of the collective soul of society. Restorative justice for the soul, for the spirit.

These verses, shared with me at the beginning of Lent, opened to me a beautiful, practical, transcendent, living view of restorative justice, what it looks like both in spirit and in action:

Isaiah 58

6.Is not this the fast that I choose                                                                    to loose the bonds of injustice                                                                          to undo the thongs of the yoke,                                                                         to let the oppressed go free,                                                                          and to break every yoke?

7.Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,                                                and bring the homeless poor into your house …

8.Then your light shall break forth like the dawn,                                       and your healing shall spring up quickly; …                                                          

9. … If you remove the yoke from among you;                                               the pointing of the finger, the speaking of evil

10.If you offer your food to the hungry                                                         and satisfy the needs of the afflicted,                                                           then your light shall rise in the darkness                                                    and your gloom be like the noonday.

These verses speak of suffering, of justice that is due the suffering, the oppressed, the burdened, the poor. Justice blended with service of love and compassion. This means to do not only charitable acts, but to advocate for deep change, as we are aware and able.

A restorative justice, is it not, to loose the bonds of injustice and to let the oppressed go free? To break every yoke of oppression, every spiritual yoke, every societal yoke, every yoke of inequality, placed upon our fellow human beings. Ones we have placed there, or ones others have, that matters little, except that together, we can and indeed must remove those yokes from among us, break them. Break them, so that those who have been broken by them might be able to stand, be whole …

I think we can all understand what some of those yokes may be, when we look deeply into the conflicts and suffering in the world, in the USA. Perhaps some of us are wearing yokes from which we need to go free … yokes of suffering or injustices … or yokes we wear because we’ve placed such yokes on others, intentionally or not.

This restorative justice begins within our own minds, hearts, and souls, an inner work of awareness and healing change that flows outward, ever outward, like light breaking forth. An inner work of restoration that first breaks within us whatever spiritual or psychological yokes we suffer under; that sets us free, free to practice with belovedness the work of restorative justice. To me, that’s what the fast I choose today looks like, in my being, my living.

This is the beginning of restorative justice. Beginning from the root, beginning within us, you and I. Beginning from the root and rising upward and outward, a justice of belovedness that first flows into us, flows from us, flows into our families, all our relationships with others, with strangers, with enemies … until there are no strangers, no enemies, no ‘others’, no ‘us vs. them.’

A justice of belovedness that flows like a river into our communities, our social institutions and structures.

A justice that flows across cultures and unites us, restored in wholeness to one another … restored and returned to the state of love, equality in love. A return to and restoration of the human connection, wherein is healing.

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I know this is a lot to absorb (!), but if you would take away one thing, let it be this: what does restorative justice mean to you, and in what spiritual and/or practical ways can or would you practice and live it?

 

 

 

 

Balancing act

/ Lanae / Leave a comment

If you’ve been reading along, you might have noticed that I have mentioned ‘balance’ a number of times. It’s something that matters a lot to me, something I’m always attempting to find and maintain, but wow, can it be elusive … or illusive! Just when I might feel tempted to pat myself on the back just a bit and think, with wonder, oh, look, I’ve got myself, my thinking, my writing, my living, in balance … well, then I get bumped, and well, lose balance!

Equanimity is another word I love, and it’s a word that is about ‘balance’ – maintaining an emotional, mental, spiritual steadiness. Even in the bumpier, rougher times. Equanimity is about noticing both the light and the dark, the heavy thoughts and the lighter ones, the joys and the sorrows, the happiness and the suffering, and being able to hold them both, having the space to hold them both.

I’d like to think I can do that, and I can, but if I’m honest, I can only do it imperfectly! The gifts of imperfection, indeed … learning that it’s okay to be off-balance sometimes, that sometimes there are gifts in the off-balance feelings and experiences, that  in them there are important lessons and opportunities to grow (and become better balanced!).

The word ‘equanimity’ comes from Latin roots meaning ‘even’ and ‘mind’ – even mind, a balance of mind. An even mind, holding even seemingly contrasting observations, thoughts, emotions, experiences, memories in awareness, at once, as one. A story that illustrates this so beautifully and clearly comes from a book I’ve read (and re-read, and would recommend!) called Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom. It explains the neuro-cognitive effects and physiological processes involved in mindfulness and meditation, written with a clear, eloquent, spiritual elegance.

As the story goes, a Buddhist teacher was journeying on a boat down the Ganges River, in India, at dawn. On the left bank of the river were ancient temples and towers bathed in the blushing glow of the rising sun. On the other bank of the river were burning funeral pyres, with wails of mourning rising with the smoke. She was seeing life and beauty on the one side, death and sorrow on the other, with her heart wide open enough to encompass and accept both. Not letting the view of suffering cancel out the view of beauty, not denying the feeling of sorrow in favor of the feeling of joy. Acknowledging both, holding both in awareness.

It’s not either/or. It’s both/and. Life is both/and. Equanimity, balance, is found in the both/and.

Equanimity isn’t seeking, striving, to reconcile or even to justify jarring juxtapositions, things that are seemingly irreconcilable, but rather to accept their present existence – whether within ourselves or within others, in the world, where suffering and violence contrast with goodness and grace. To see both and yet to see beyond … to see the potential of goodness and belovedness arising, even from smoke and ashes. Beauty from ashes, beauty with ashes.

To see beauty in our own selves even through intimate acquaintance with our imperfections, to value our strength even in our weakness, to accept the both/and of the darkness and the light in us. To acknowledge the both/and of goodness and wrongness, of death and life, in us … to love ourselves with the love of belovedness in all of that.

Heart wide open … to accept alike the off-balance times as well as the in-balance times, the difficult emotions as well as the pleasurable ones. Heart wide open, mind even … to know that the seeds of happiness are still there, still can be watered. Heart wide open, mind even … to know that balance returns.

I have to remind myself of that often, it seems … on the days that I feel like I am so unmindful, critical or ungracious; the moments that I feel like I am failing as a mother, struggling to be patient with my children; the times that suffering and violence in the world cause me to feel broken with anger or sorrow; the moments where I doubt I am echoing much belovedness into the world, and wonder if my words, my life, my actions, my motives are in harmony (in balance!). To allow myself to believe I can have equanimity about feeling off-balance … or about living in an off-balance world!

Remember belovedness, balance returns …

Equanimity – heart wide open, even mind. The grace of acceptance, balance, and compassion. Holding space and stillness, space for stillness. Holding space and belovedness, space for belovedness.

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Now that I shared some about equanimity and balance and how I experience them (or seek to experience them!), I want to leave you with some questions! How would you define/describe equanimity for yourself? Balance? What do those things mean to you? How do you experience them? How would you like to experience them?

 

What seeds are we watering?

/ Lanae / 2 Comments

Already we’ve looked at deep listening as a practice of mindfulness, being deeply present with others, seeing them as they are. Watering seeds is another part or practice of mindfulness, learning to look deeply to see and understand what seeds we are watering, and to practice watering wholesome seeds. We all are watering seeds! Are we aware what seeds we are watering?

Living mindfully is being mindful of the seeds within, mindful of our consciousness as storing seeds of all kinds, of all potential roots and fruits, mindful of what seeds we are watering. Our perceptions, thoughts, emotions – these are seeds that become rooted as patterns of thinking, acting, interacting. How well do we know the seeds we are watering?

Wholesome seeds, unwholesome seeds. Seeds in which either wholesomeness or unwholesomeness could arise, depending on how we water and nurture them.

Love, happiness, compassion, gratitude, kindness, joy, peace … wholesome seeds sowing goodness and grace.

Fear, doubt, anger, conceit, suffering, violence, hate … unwholesome seeds sowing discord and division.

Desire and passion, abundantly present. Seeds that seem to have both joy-creating and sorrow-creating potential.

All of these seeds can be in all of us. In us all are seeds of potential for a vast, diverse array of feelings and actions; the presence of both wholesome and unwholesome seeds, the capacity to choose to water either. But what do we choose to water? What we choose to think or read about, to focus on, our everyday activities … these things water seeds within us … and within others, also. We are interconnected, so in some way, what I water in myself, I water in you, in my friends, in my family, in someone around the world.

Sometimes we judge the seeds we think are present in others, or the seeds we think are present in ourselves. Sometimes, we might want to deny certain seeds are within us, such as fears, prejudices, or anger. Or we might want to destroy those particular seeds, and as we would with weeds in our gardens, seek to uproot them ruthlessly.

For example, I used to be angry at my anger, angry that it existed and lived in me, afraid of it. Ashamed of it. So, my practice was to try to destroy the destructive seed. And yet, being angry at anger, being afraid of it, being ashamed of it, waters it. Denying anger waters it. Reacting and thinking of it in emotionally violent ways feeds it, waters it. Deepens its roots and spreads its growth, while it takes up space, creates further suffering … This is true for other unwholesome seeds, in ourselves, or even in society.

But when I learned to practice acceptance and compassion toward my anger and myself for having it, an intriguing thing happened: its roots, its vines, its toxic presence and power withered. Watering seeds of compassion and forgiveness, helped more to master my anger, than any other act of striving against it.

When acknowledged but not watered, then unwholesome seeds cannot grow in unhealthy ways. Other wholesome seeds then have liberty and space for flourishing!

However, the energy of anger, of passion, can be constructively channeled into doing genuine good, helping motivate change. Courage and boldness to speak truths about injustices, to advocate and act for change, to plant seeds of restorative justice. But to make this possible, many other seeds must be mindfully watered, seeds of hope and compassion, understanding and desire for peace, love and belovedness, seeds that produce balance.

The seeds we water affect our experience of the Divine, our relationship with ourselves, with one another, children, parents, partners, everyone. To choose to water wholesome seeds in ourselves is to bring a healing influence first to ourselves and that influence spreads out, like ripples from a stone cast upon the water. In living this practice, we can change ourselves, our world, the world of another, even the whole world, simply by the seeds we water.

As Thich Nhat Hanh says:

“To touch the seeds of joy, peace, and love within you is a very important practice. You can ask your friends to do the same for you. If you love someone, you acknowledge their positive seeds…. [W]atering the seeds in one person is a very concrete practice of love. If you love me, please refrain from watering only the seeds of anger, despair, and hatred in me. If you love me, recognize the seeds of joy, gladness, peace, and solidity in me also and touch them, several times a day. That will help me grow in the direction of health, joy, and happiness.”

What a beautiful, practical act of love to offer each other: to look deeply, see the positive seed, and water those seeds! Why water negative seeds in someone when we want to help positive ones grow? Look for the good in our families, our children, co-workers, friends, strangers on the street, and water it … believe the seeds of good are there, find them, water them! Here’s the best relationship, parenting, spiritual-growth, or life advice I have today – find the seeds of good and water them!

While watering the good, let’s not deny or ignore the seeds of suffering in others, as that waters such seeds. Remember, listening deeply and wholly to someone’s pain, anger, despair, or fears and sorrows, is one way of watering seeds of comfort and compassion in them … so that those seeds in them could begin to flourish in and fill them. Deep listening and watering seeds go together! Can we, will we, offer these acts of service, these acts of belovedness, for ourselves and others?

What seeds are we watering in each other, in our communities, our churches or fellowship gatherings … our societies, our governments, our nations, and our world – our Earth?? Seeds of gratitude and grace? Seeds of peace and liberty? Seeds of hope and compassion? Seeds of belovedness?