Category: Year of Abundance Project

Year of Abundance Project Revisited; Embodied Abundance

/ Lanae / Leave a comment Featured

Time to revisit my Abundance Project, for a review of what has (or hasn’t) been going on with it the last few months!

I clearly haven’t been doing a monthly review for each month’s theme/actions. And it’s not that the project itself went by the wayside, because it didn’t, although it has taken a vastly different form than I could’ve envisioned when I crafted it. Some aspects and actions just haven’t been possible (such as June with its Social focus and all the gathering/neighborhood ideas I had!) and a certain depletion or narrowing of creative energy coupled with intense work/therapy focus meant I didn’t always come up with anything much clever to fill the gap either.

Some of the monthly themes took on such an ironic feel in their timing, considering quarantine. April – Parenting? May – Family? A fitting focus for each of those months! Little of it looked in action as it had on paper, for sure, but was determined by the needs of the moment and the needs of the moment shaped the responses. Though sometimes I felt as though I were floundering and failing, somehow it all managed to be ‘good enough’ … and sometimes, that’s what abundance looks like in weird, rough times, giving yourself and others the grace of ‘good enough’.

Yet, though the forms morphed into something so unexpected, to have the abundance framework has helped hold me up somehow – hold me up in hope, remind me of love and joy and passion (which was this month’s theme focus, Play/Passion), and remember it’s not only okay but vital in times like these to nourish our joy, to find wonder, to be playful.

I suppose one reason I felt hesitant, as if it were inappropriate to write of abundance in such of time of upheaval and uncertainty, distress and despair, when it’s so apparent so many don’t have the same chances to participate in and know abundance, and when so many other topics urgently needed attending, voicing, and engaging. To me, for a while it felt that writing anything about an abundance project seemed out of tune, that it would be misattuned and disharmonious (and attending to attunement is a key part of my deep meaning of lived integrity, my 2020 word). Whether or not that seems like an accurate interpretation of the situation and energy to others, it was something I felt moved to be respectful of and intentional about in whatever I did offer or share.

And, goodness, how is ‘abundance’ supposed to look right now? How is my abundance, your abundance supposed to look? Or perhaps more accurately, how does it and how can it look? Beyond that, how does abundance look for those grieving loss and injustice, for those suffering oppression, for those laboring for liberation right now?

How to define, refine abundance right now? How is the year 2020 a year of abundance; what abundance can be drawn from all this year has brought, broken down, cracked wide open, thrown wildly to the winds, swamped us and our world with? Those are questions that perhaps can’t be answered yet, perhaps the answers are still buried, hidden, unfolding, perhaps some answers are vividly, defiantly, beautifully present in the challenge, pain, and grief.

One thing I know – abundance itself remains as real and present, as valid and vital as ever it was. The experience of abundance, the ability to access and know and choose abundance in its many forms, a right all deserve. Abundance in the form of moments of awe and wonder, nature’s healing gifts (such as blue butterflies I saw on my recent solitary retreat). Abundance in the many forms of hope and grace, love and liberation, joy and justice, liberty and equity, solidarity and empathy, honesty and healing, humility and truth, community and collaboration, rest and restoration …

I’ve been learning of embodied activism (being connected and present in mind, spirit, and body in social justice and advocacy action, in racial justice work, and antiracism practice – and this makes perfect sense to me as a therapist and yoga teacher, considering we experience life in bodies, our bodies carry our memories and traumas, and so the work of justice and healing needs to happen intentionally through and in our bodies to be a whole work). But considering the many forms of abundance makes me think of embodied abundance … embodying abundance. Abundance present and embodied in nature, in us, in our relationships with ourselves/our bodies and in our relationships with others. Us learning to be present in our bodies and our world, to be embodied, and to embody abundance for one another in all those beautiful qualities of being and serving and advocating listed above.

So, perhaps this points to an answer to some of the questions above …

abundance can look like and be
hope and grace embodied,
love and liberation embodied,
joy and justice embodied,
liberty and equity embodied,
solidarity and empathy embodied,
honesty and healing embodied,
humility and truth embodied,
community and collaboration embodied,
rest and restoration embodied!

Monthly Abundance Focus, March: Generosity

/ Lanae / Leave a comment Featured

This review of March’s Abundance theme focus is a little later than usual, and frankly, I seriously considered whether it was honestly the right time or relevant to be posting about an Abundance Project in the midst of a pandemic, topsy-turvy time of loss and grief. Well – and especially when the focus of March was ‘Money’, with the overall intention of financial energy care and changing my spirit toward financial abundance!

And I’m still questioning … but I’m going to share something for 3 reasons:

One, because continuity matters, for the sake of retaining some sense of healthy normalcy and incorporating what was helpful from old rhythms and structures into the new.

Two, because abundance still matters and is perhaps even more relevant, simply in a different way.

Three, because this theme focus is really more about generosity than finances or financial attitudes (well, maybe generosity is both a financial and spiritual attitude!) – and generosity of service and spirit matters, more than ever!

When there is much loss and fear and grief afoot, abundance and hope and grace are even more relevant – fundamental not only to surviving but thriving, to sustaining care and compassion, to moving through grief and yet inviting gratitude to be present where it can be found, to maintaining an un-narrowed spirit open to share and serve and trust.

Certainly, this year’s circumstances weren’t what I envisioned (how could I?!) – and yet, reflecting on it, what better time to have an Abundance Project? To have intentions and practices in place to ground and sustain me and stay in my heart and mind even when my energy flagged and my soul and body felt wearied and worn.

I’m not going to post the entirety of the action steps, because some of them got as turned upside down as did life and its structures and rhythms and just had to be let go. But the two which were my anchoring intentions became freshly, vividly relevant – re-defining what abundance can mean, needs to mean, on a deeper level, for self and soul care and communal care.

The mantra for the month was ‘Make money your servant, to help you serve in love’. And oh, how relevant was and is serving in love!

Some may remember that at the beginning of March I posted this on Facebook: My challenge to myself this month, which I am sharing here now to help me with diligence + accountability, is to buy nothing new this month, outside of groceries and household supplies! (One hope is that this helps with my book addiction ) I’ll let you know at the end of month how intention parlayed into accomplishment …

The challenge to buy nothing new or un-needed? It worked well – helped out by the practicality of removing non-essential store trips and utilizing online grocery shopping/order pick-up options, especially in service of public health safety. If, say, a splurge urge arose, I sat with it, to see what the need really was underneath the want and to give the desire a chance to dissolve of its own accord. Waiting helped me want less and fill the true need more. Wanting less helped me see I have and am enough already; wanting less helped me have more to give!

And in the middle of March, this: “Be generous. Do not budget generosity. Do not ever fear to be generous.”

These are words from one of my action steps in this month’s Abundance Project theme focus …. and today I’ve been reflecting just how appropriate they feel to me right now. Now is the time for abundant generosity, and to not give permission to the fear and anxiety that is present right now to pull us away from that or lure us into a fear-narrowed scarcity mindset. We *will* have enough together!

Now is the time for generosity of care, of compassion, of communication, of finding both creative and practical ways to reach out, serve, soothe, and help one another. To give without measure from what we have to give. To feed one another – not just offering food for the body but food for the heart, soul, mind, to share peace for our troubled spirits, be balm for one another’s anxious fears, to hold space for one another. All of this generosity is possible even with the physical distancing – physical distancing need not be, must not be, emotional or spiritual distancing!

We have an invitation now into deeper ways of practicing healing community, inviting Love to bridge physical and social distances and bring us together in a solidarity more powerful than fear, than any virus.

If the first intention is about understanding the true need under the want, this second intention is about an ‘abundance response’.

The two intentions fit perfectly together! I couldn’t have known when I was crafting my Abundance Project how right each month’s guiding focus and intentions would be, but they have been so attuned to the needs of the moment it could only have been Spirit, indeed. They helped me not get lost in a tempting fear-narrowed scarcity mindset. They anchored me in a more generous compassion toward my fears and needs and others’ fears and needs, and served as a compass pointing me toward abundance responses.

Abundance responses are exactly what is needed right now … to help us care well for ourselves and one another, to help us help ourselves and our communities deal with the suffering,  fears, and challenges* of this time and find healing together.

*Including parenting, which it just so happens I chose as April’s focus with intention to cultivate relationship with each kid, and spend quality time with them, and the mantra to “Love them as they are, so that they learn to love themselves into their authentic best selves.” Well! How much more fitting could that get, indeed!*

Monthly Abundance Focus: Reviewing February (Energy)

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February – ENERGY


Intention: Boost vitality and improve atmosphere of home.
Mantra: Lightness, laughter, love, and less stuff.
Actions:
1. Sage home regularly. (This means, get home saging kit!)
2. De-cluttering, minimizing, reducing materialism. Too much stuff, not in order, saps energy.
3. Set up cleaning service – regular.
4. Ethical diet – mindful consumption. Move toward and into more vegetarian diet.
5. From pros/cons list – note energy feeders vs. energy drains. Determine appropriate actions to reduce energy drains, and focus on energy feeders.
6. Mindful of energy of communication.
7. Lighten up about expectations, chores, and chaos.
8. Laugh more. Get a game to play with kids that invites everyone to play and laugh together.
9. Energy healing (chakra work).

Some things I have noticed as this project/year unfolds:

*My action plans are rather ambitious, so I’ve found it essential to check my expectations – or let them go! I’ve given myself permission to not accomplish everything on each month’s list, so that I don’t weigh myself down.
*The idea on some of these action steps is simply to begin  – and to realize some of them are broad and dynamic, perhaps not finishable in a time-limited sense, but rather ongoing, evolving, deepening shifts in perspective and behavior.
*Many remain ‘in progress’ – they weren’t for just the one month, although that was a time to dedicate specifically to growing them into enduring habits.
*Broader actions or intentions provide a neat contrast and balance to the more specific, time-limited ones. It’s kind of nice to have actions or intentions that can be checked off, but some to put the ‘in progress’ next to, also!
*And – imperfect progress is progress.
*How relevant each month’s theme really are to my life in the moment! Of course, that could well be just because that’s where my attention is, so that’s what I notice, but the intentions and actions already planned have been so right for the needs that arose. Trust the universe, indeed!

So, to check in on February!

Let me tell you, I am now sold on having a cleaning service come in! It was beyond wonderful and such relieved joy to arrive home to a sparkling clean home that had been deep cleaned in places I haven’t gotten to in ages.  The first cleaning was a gift from dear friends who understood what a burden-lifter it would be, but a cleaning once a month from now on is my gift to myself and my kids, too!

Between that and a major decluttering of my closet and room, and donating loads of things from it to a local homeless shelter, the energy in my home became so much brighter, lighter, and more vital! Which meant my energy felt so much brighter, lighter, and more vital … and this flowed into my relationships with my kids, my parenting, and my communications with them. There has been more lightness and laughter ….

And less stuff too!

The decluttering of my closet and room had felt like an intimidating task to me, but turned out to be such fun once I buckled down to it. So satisfying to have a more neatly organized closet, and it’s been easier to get dressed faster in the morning because it’s only the things that I will and do truly wear that are there – fewer (and yet more viable) options actually makes decision-making much simpler, which in turns saves mental and emotional energy.

Another satisfying thing was releasing remnants of the past me, letting go of things that no longer suited or served me or had never truly suited or served me, removing burdens or bonds that I had allowed to remain, in some cases not even aware of how I had held onto them or the energy cost of that … the sense of lightness  that came from this, so liberating!

I have regularly saged my office space at the end of day, and found it powerful as a way of clearing my mind and soul, and honoring the stories and emotions that have been shared there that day along with preparing the space for those to come. I thought – why not give myself and my family the same gift at home – cleansing, sanctifying the space, dedicating it to sacred peace? My kids aren’t necessarily fond of the sage smell, bless them … but nonetheless, to me, I feel that the air and energy and spirit in our home is lighter and cleaner. Practices that invite peace and cleansing are vital!

About the non-meat eating, I’m still learning what a holistically balanced vegetarian diet looks like, and what will best meet my body’s needs, but my body does feel happier energy so far! As well, I simply feel more in line with my own values, my sense of mindful, ethical living, which helps my spiritual well-being.

Finally, one of my guide-phrases for the year is ‘Energy follows attention; energy follows expression’. This is 2-fold. First, my thoughts and my attention affect my energy level and my mood, so when my thoughts and attention went down a rabbit hole, my energy followed! And when I directed myself out of the rabbit hole, my energy followed. Also, science-y tidbit here – our brains take cues about our emotions/moods from our facial expressions, so putting on a half-smile, even a tiny curve of the lips, sends feedback to our brains that can shift mood. I’ve found this practice helpful to shift or lift physical, mental, and emotional weariness. Remembering the phrase and its practices have been a key way to manage the overall energy of my communication and my presence.

All these practices have been nourishing and cleansing, and so yes, my own and my home’s energy feel more vital, lighter, and brighter!

************

Preview:

March’s theme is …. Money/financial abundance (and so, so in time, too!).

Monthly Abundance Focus: Reviewing January (Time)

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Monthly Abundance Focus

One main theme each month, a primary intention and mantra

January – TIME

Intention: Respect my own time and use it more wisely and mindfully.
Mantra: There is enough time. There is always enough time, in the Now.
Actions:
1. Set more precise time boundaries.
2. Refine FB/social media use.
3. Do pros/cons list of current obligations and activities. Discern time/energy required. Determine what has time priority. Determine ways to simplify, reduce time needed/spent.
4. Create structure and strategies for completion of paperwork and collateral communication. Keeping up on treatment plans.
5. Make time to write more. Create specific plan for when/where to write. Develop blog-posting plan. Sentences, short thought pieces, quotes? Abundance Project progress?
6. Be intentional about social and romance time.
7. Allow time to play and time to rest and/or do nothing
8. Say no to or change commitments that do not fit in your time/energy budget or align with values.
9. With board commitments, do not be afraid to delegate as much as possible and trust.
10. Respect sleep time needs. Keep regular sleep/wake hours.
11. Use your planner every day! Keep yourself organized.

Before it gets too far into February, here’s January’s theme and action steps and a little review and reflection of how it went and what I learned!

What I did – tried to do – as a basic accountability structure was review my guide-word and guide-phrases and visit the month’s intentions/action steps each day. I say, tried to do, as it didn’t happen every single day, but it did happen most days! To help me stay aligned this is exactly what I needed, to create strategies to embed these intentions and action plans in my awareness, so that they would walk with me where I walked, sit with me where I sat, be present with me wherever I was present.

Each week I also reviewed progress. It helped that in conjunction with this I also got a “fancy planner” with lots of guidance and reflection tools in it  – this was a leap of faith, as planners and I have had inconsistent relationships in the past; commitment has been an issue, you could say! But this particular planner has been fun to use and has helped me stay accountable and focused. It’s motivating to see and reward progress – and all progress counted.

I focused on Time first because time management/organization/detail overwhelm were huge drains for me last year in trying to adjust to a much busier work life + community commitments. So many times I found myself repeating the same refrain – I have too much to do, there’s not enough time! And this mentality became its own energy drain, and put me right in a place where I set myself up for time mismanagement, mental exhaustion, and more forgetting (or more kindly, less timely remembering of details and tasks!).

My purpose was to shift my mentality to shift my energy and change my relationship to my ‘busy-ness’; cultivate a more peaceable relationship with time.

So, how did it go??

You might notice that I was fairly ambitious and detailed in action steps – and might wonder, but didn’t those take time?? Well yes, they did require a time and intention commitment, but overall I feel they provided a structure and discipline I needed! And cultivated deeper self-respect, as well.

Telling myself consistently instead, there is enough time, helped me feel lighter and freer. In terms of abundance, it didn’t make there BE more time! Rather, the abundance is that it began shifting my mentality around time, and helped reverse the time and energy drain. As well, one of my guide phrases is, ‘One thing in the moment,’ and I reminded myself of this whenever I felt the weight of ‘all the things to do’ press in. Do this one thing now, with your whole attention; then do the next thing.

I got a little notebook I keep by my computer at work to write down tasks and details through the day that needed attention, and this relieved my brain and saved me time both. It helped me stay more organized and be more efficient; plus, it feels satisfying to check things off, too!

One of the most foundational action steps was #3, creating that pros/cons list, which helped me clearly identify what was costing me significantly in time/energy with less value return. That in turn helped me with #8, letting go of time commitments that were weighing me/my energy/my spirit down and perhaps even feeding resentment, burnout, overwhelm. That was difficult in one sense, as when I take on a commitment I take it seriously and have trouble letting go sometimes. But in another sense, it was so freeing, and I felt so much lighter and (time)richer once I did!

So, I learned it’s not only okay but also so vital to review and refine your commitments and obligations regularly, to focus attention and time on that which enriches you and let go of what may be impoverishing you.  As well, checking expectations and judgments – they’re draining, too! And this lesson feeds right into February’s theme, which is Energy.

And part of the blessing of abundance was that I had more time and space free for simply being, playing, enjoying friends and my kids, reading (yay!), and even writing (double yay!). It was more a matter of attention and intention, though, intentionally making choices to honor and care for what mattered most to me. Being more awake in the moment that I was in, being awake Now. (Another guide-phrase: Be here now, be awake Now.)

But did I really have more time? No – I had more life in my time! And more than that, I feel like I simply had more life … still boundaried by time in practical ways, but also less bound by it in my spirit. 

So thank you, January, and hello, February!

2020 Guide-word: Integrity

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Year of Abundance Project

Guide-word for year: INTEGRITY

Definition [personal] of word: Ability and act of staying in tune with the inner voice of my intuition and of Spirit, knowing and aligning with core values, discerning deeply what it means from moment to moment, choice to choice, to live attuned and to return to attunement whenever mistunement or misalignment is present and known. To be willing for the process of re-attuning, re-aligning, retuning, returning and returning.
Intuition, and intention, attuned and aligned with Spirit, anchored thus no matter the winds and waves and current of this sea of life.

I am the boat, life is the sea
Integrity makes me sea-worthy
boundaries me, sustains me
nurtures me, holds me

Exposition of fuller meaning of this integrity and its application in my daily living:

This integrity is about being true to the deepest truths of my body, mind, spirit, soul. It is about making a vow to be true and to live from the essence of my soul, a congruity between what matters most to me and what is for highest good for all with choices made and energy (spirit) shared.

This integrity is about attunement – to my physicality, my sexuality, my gender identity, my spirituality. Attunement in relationships with myself/Self, others [clients, friends, peers, colleagues, mentors, leaders, family, children, lover], and the Infinite Presence. Attunement on all levels – holistic attunement – physical (or material), emotional, psychological, intellectual, mental, social, relational, spiritual. Attunement with the created world, Creation, and Creator Presence.

Attunement to the way that my desires, perceptions, thoughts, beliefs, views, words, attitudes, actions, choices all intersect and interact with one another, the energy field this creates around me and the way my energy affects others, and where these elements are in alignment with innermost values as well as where they are not. Integrity is acting in the interests of attunement, which means listening to the voice that speaks from the deep stillness at the center of my being, my true Self. This is the voice speaking from Source into the center of my being and is my true voice – not the voice of ego but the voice of soul. If I know myself/Self, if I know this true voice and listen and respond to its direction and re-direction, herein is integrity, and in this integrity, liberty – living attuned and free.

Overarching Vow:  Preserve Presence. Be present with myself, with others, with Presence.

Note of explanation: This is the first installment of my Year of Abundance Project series! With this project, I also included other pieces such as 20 Guide-Phrases for 2020, vision/values and mission statements, etc. But the main part of the project involved choosing a theme to focus on each month, with a guiding intention and encouraging mantra as well as action steps for each theme. So, I will be sharing each month about that month’s focus, progress, and what I’m learning!

Thank you for coming along with me and sharing in abundance!