Since I voiced my desire for this blog to be a ‘conversation space rich in belovedness’, a place where ‘honest, vulnerable conversation and connection’ takes place, it seems good to discuss first an essential part of such conversation – listening. In particular, mindful listening, deep listening. Listening with open-heartedness, listening with belovedness …

But how does such listening apply to writing, to a blog context, to this blog? I’ve been pondering what an intentional listening space looks like in a place where it seems all too easy for the blogger to just do the ‘talking’, or most of it, through content-creating.

I’m usually known as a quiet person, and it’s true, sometimes I am! In group settings, I generally become a listener and an observer, partly because I enjoy understanding the dynamics and patterns at play – and well, partly because I do have a quiet, low voice. However, closer friends know that I am not always quiet, that I have a voice and a lot to say, that there is a deep well of intensity and passion dwelling in my heart and soul, and that sometimes it plentifully, passionately pours forth!

Perhaps this blog is an outlet to pour forth my voice, to be heard and known. But I mean it to be much more than that; I mean it also to be about blending our voices together, listening to each other. Being present together with ourselves, being who we are, hearing and listening to who we truly are, in a space of intentional communication. So, is that possible through a blog?! Yes, yes!

In a blog context, we may not be in each other’s presence, but we certainly can still be richly present with each other. I can (and will!) be present and mindful in how I prepare the words I share and in how I listen and respond to comments; you can be present and mindful in how you read, receive, and reflect upon the words.

What then, is this mindful, deep listening?

Thich Nhat Hanh, a Zen Buddhist master, whose serene wisdom and clear, elegant writing I have come to treasure, teaches and writes about mindful listening, deep listening. Mindfulness is a way of being, of being present, being here now, both with ourselves and with each other. One of the most important practices of mindfulness is deep listening, a very loving way to be present with someone who is sharing themselves with us. Mindful, loving communication and relationships develop through deep listening and loving speech.

Loving speech arises from deep listening. Belovedness arises from deep listening, mindful listening … we can send echoes of belovedness into someone’s heart without even needing to speak, just by being deeply present, listening with full attention and intention. This is the preparation for speaking words of belovedness, words of comfort or counsel, and for actions of belovedness.

Often, we tend to listen (or read) with intent to reply, but what if we listen solely with intent to hear and to understand? What if we listen to or read someone’s words not with intent to debate or to point out wrong perceptions (or ones we feel are possibly wrong), but with intent to learn, to understand, to communicate, to dialogue, to seek reconciliation? That type of listening intent echoes with grace and humility, which are themselves also echoes of belovedness …

Thich Nhat Hanh also speaks of first listening to understand, rather than first seeking to offer counsel or solutions for suffering. Listen for and to the heart of the other person (or group of people), to hear whatever their suffering may be or may have been, to be present with them in that, to enter into their experience and perspective.

It is beautiful and right to have a passion to stand against and to correct injustice and oppression, to do whatever we can to ease suffering, to put solutions into action. But first, be present, listen deeply and mindfully to understand, to perceive clearly, to love deeply. Then we can be prepared to speak and to act for change in ways that add no harm but are healing and liberating.

Listening may not seem like much to do, but it’s a first right thing to do; the essential foundation for deeper ‘doing’. Listening with belovedness is a great gift to give to ourselves, to one another, to all, to the world. A listening presence of belovedness, empty of prejudicial discrimination, full of acceptance and compassion, is so restorative, so healing, with the potential to build strong relationships, create deep change, bring a profound, transformative justice to a world that needs it.