Over the last few years, I’ve tried to keep a spiritual journal of sorts. Not a diary for recounting daily events, but for working out spiritual musings and philosophical ponderings, or making feeble attempts at poetry sometimes, too!
Now and then, it’s an adventure to go back and read ‘old’ words … to re-learn or reclaim forgotten insights, lessons, or experiences. Or to feel like I am indeed on a spiral staircase, circling around the same themes in my life and mind and soul …
So it happened again … As I opened up my journal to write, thinking “Oh, I need to return to belovedness, find a clear ‘Yes’ to it again, not water seeds of bitterness,” the page fell open to an entry from November 20 (2015) that was like a return to a familiar landing on the spiral staircase! Like, haven’t I been on this step before, looked out this tower window??
The external scenery of my journey is different, yet there was a sense of returning to a familiar inner landscape! The realization, “I’ve been here before; but what more is there I need to learn this time?”
And so chimed another mindfulness bell … or the same mindfulness bell, again …
In words I’m sharing below just as they flowed out then …
The last few days have been intense – just rather a deep swelling psychic sense of a ‘NO’ arising in this land, crying:
No! No, we will not take in refugees; No, we do not want Muslims here; No, we do not want Syrians (etc., etc., etc.) here;
No, we do not think the world will ever be anything other than broken and no, we do not think love or goodness is the true nature of humanity … evil and violence is and will always be;
No, we do not think love will win; no, belovedness is not greater than fear!
It has made my ‘YES’ feel so lost in the resounding cacophony of that ‘NO’ … and has broken my heart.
But I find now, again, that the strength and quiet, peaceful power of a conviction of Ultimate truth of belovedness has returned to my ‘YES’. I will keep saying ‘YES,’ I will keep saying all are beloved, I will keep saying ‘Belovedness is …
To clarify, the reference points for those words are the Paris attacks, the rising anguish and awareness around ISIS/the Syrian refugee situation, and the powerful, visceral emotional reactions in the U.S. and globally to these and other crises. (And please hold in mind that this isn’t meant as political commentary – it’s a soul-cry – it’s spiritual (social/spiritual) commentary, if anything! I’m not a political activist, I’m more a social justice advocate with a spiritual approach, a spiritual advocate or perhaps a mindfulness messenger.)
Though those events are past, they still seem to be present, somehow – unresolved, unreconciled, unhealed. And the words above remain relevant because our shared societal spiral staircase always seems to be taking us to these points of political, social, and spiritual crises … where both the NO! and the YES! voices are resounding, on scores of personal, social, political, racial issues.
Awareness and change are happening rapidly, things are shifting, evolving. In the midst of it, there is fear, there is hope, sometimes a fearful hopelessness, sometimes a fearful hopefulness …
And the words are relevant to my own personal journey, my own inner ‘climbing of the spiral staircase’ … for me personally, change is happening rapidly also, things are shifting, evolving on many levels in my life, from deep internal places to external circumstances. And just as before, my ‘Yes’ to belovedness has started feeling lost, blurred, frayed … and my ‘No’ to anger, impatience, bitterness, and negativity has been waning.
I needed (continually need) a mindfulness bell to remind me I am beloved, to remind me of my ‘Yes’ to belovedness, to knit any unraveling edges back into the fabric of belovedness. To remind me to accept change and to embrace and heal my pain and difficult emotions with the ‘Yes’ of belovedness. To find strength and grace in focusing on that ‘Yes.’
I think so do we all, so does our beloved country, so does the world often need a mindfulness bell, in whatever form it takes … to remind us we are all beloved, we all belong in belovedness. To teach us to declare and to live a communal ‘Yes’ to love, compassion, hope, justice … to say ‘Yes’ to loving ourselves and one another and ‘No’ to causing ourselves and one another suffering.
For where there’s a ‘Yes,’ there’s a ‘No’ … saying ‘Yes’ to belovedness, to compassion, to peace, to justice, to forgiveness, to hope, to grace, to freedom, to open-mindedness and equanimity, is also saying ‘No’ to fear or being ruled by it, violence, prejudice, injustice, inaction, indifference, poverty, oppression … a ‘No’ that must be clear!
Yet what seems most needful is not so much to declare the ‘No’ against suffering as to proclaim the ‘Yes’ for liberation from suffering … to be the ‘YES’!
And even when a fearful or cynical ‘No’ seems so loud and dominant, listen for the powerful, peaceful ‘Yes’ that’s still present, in you, in others, in the world … and amplify it!
Live the ‘Yes’ … make your life a resounding ‘Yes’ to love, grace, hope, justice, mindfulness!
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*** I also wrote a poem with this journal entry, but I’m not including it all here. I’m working on creating a separate section/category specifically for poetry. Right now, it’s here: Always yes, always beloved, always belovedness ***