Tag: connection

exploring Embodiment and Justice: poems

/ Lanae / Leave a comment Featured

It’s been a long quiet in this space, and it’s been a long year of seeking creative magic in whatever moment it might be waiting – a long year of feeling that in many ways, I was either too busy or too weary to be caught by the magic current. On one hand, I let go – or be – what I didn’t seem to have the energy for and made peace with what this season of life asked and allowed. But on the other, where writing was concerned – and particularly poetry – a seed of longing languished, like an ember who kept their light, for a space of time where no other call on my attention existed except creation. Unrushed, unweighted space to rest and play and be and see wonder deeply … and for wonder to flow freely through me in word form.

And I made space for just this a couple of weeks ago, when I went on a retreat to a tiny cabin in the woods by the Platte River. My hope there was to be able to focus deeply on a poem project I wanted to do to complete an Embodied Social Justice certificate program I engaged in, and rest from everything else. I had little idea before arriving of what these poems would look like, but trusted they would come to me – and come, they did, bless the muse and tree spirits!

I’ve decided to share them here, as in so many ways, they capture the essence of my journey and my inner/outer work over the last year so much better than I could express by any other means. But beyond that, these poems are also crafted to be like vessels for any reader to step into from where/who they are and feel themselves there, feel into themselves for the meaning present for them and their journeys. Read, enjoy, share anything that came up for you, if you wish!

 


Poetic Justice: An Exploration of Embodying Sexuality, Spirituality, and Environmental Justice

Beginning with Justice in my Body

I have stepped down  –
I must continue stepping down – from the throne
from the lofty place
where my self I ensconced, separate
thinking I dwelt in palaces
of spirit, Spirit essence
claiming
by self and flesh denying
Yet I dwelt disembodied
having abdicated my body
as my child self was taught was the holy thing
to do, as flesh and body, loving flesh and body,
they said earnestly,
kept human souls from knowing Truth
But this was a misunderstanding of a truth,
an unholy thing
for in so doing
I parted Soul from Body
and how could Spirit I know
in such a state –
with Creation how could I
commune? A soul denying
embodiment
or the pleasures of embodiment
is a soul out of harmony
with Creation
And where is the holiness of justice
for Body or Soul
without the soul being enfleshed
and the flesh being ensouled
And how can justice be poured out
in the world, except through Bodies
who are ensouled
and Souls who are embodied
How can justice be poured out
in the world, except through
Bodies that begin with justice
toward their own Bodies
in being present with all that is present
lived, experienced, sensed, felt, known
in the Body
these justiced Bodies move toward being
present with all that is
lived, experienced, sensed, felt, known
in the Bodies of all peoples
in the Body of Creation
in the sacredness of all Bodies,
the whole Body of Creation

*********************

Embodiment – as taught by the Feather

I saw the Feather and the Feather
saw me, I know it did
because I heard it speak
without words
that it knew me –
a voice silent but a voice
clear, said to me – not that it,
this Feather, was mine
but that it was a sign
a gift from Earth to me –
Her Beloved –
I knew without thought telling me
accepting this gift was accepting
connection
beyond connection –
wild wordless wholeness –
Communion
into a Sacred Body

******************

Embodiment – as taught by the Snail shell

In the hot white sand by the
River, a Snail shell called
to me by my true name
/Spirit of the linden/
in a voice that spoke in spirals
silent, whirled into a shell house
The Snail, absent –
sand in their stead
where is the body; where is Snail’s
body; where is Snail’s spirit?
Oh, here it is, in the whisper
of spirals, in the sand hot,
in the sunlight glittering on Water
as it ribbons by sandbars
dappled with Water’s ripple-prints
Here – Snail’s body is here
engraved in Earth, in sand and shell
embodied in Water
enspirited in Air
remembered by the Trees
Ah, Snail is here –
Snail never departed
even though their flesh
is not in this house
of shell and sand
They are home – embodied
everywhere

*******************

Embodiment – as taught by the Trees

I am home here –
the Trees know me
When I say I am
Home
I mean, Home in my Body
this soft-shell house of stardust
spirit-ashes and water
that has become bone and blood
muscle and mind
moving as one
Tree bodies rise from stardust
too – rooted in Earth and Water
with sap-blood flowing in their veins
Emanating sinuous waves of bioelectric energy
they are stillness in motion
movement embodied in stillness
Trees – birthed in the forest by the forest
know themselves; they are
Home in themselves
They know Earth, they know Air
they know Water, they know Fire
they know humans and they know me
They know their stardust
and this I know – though I could not
justify my knowing by any logic
of knowing other than Knowing
itself – the Trees here know
my stardust
And they tell me – in voices like shimmers,
shirring leaf-sighs
one Soul to another Soul
to be only who I am –
because as a Linden tree has only the blueprint
of a Linden tree imprinted
in its Soul, and not an Oak –
though noble be the Oak –
so imprinted in me is a living blueprint
(responsive, adaptive
to the touch of nature
and nurture)
that my Soul longs to express
through embodied experience
because my Body and Soul desire
and deserve such justice
Trees know – because they stand long
see far
that justice which moves
through and from the root
of the Soul of one
is an emergent, exigent justice
As Trees connect and share through their roots
to counsel, sustain, heal, and nourish one another
so is the justice that moves through
and from any one human Body
who is Home
in themselves and in Creation
to all Bodies
sustaining and nourishing
one another’s joy
carrying Healing to
the wounded Bodies and Souls
drawing all Home together
A justice rooted in joy
with liberation and Healing for everyOne
all Bodies, the whole Earth Body
is a sacred justice, is
Home, Beloved Home

**********************

 

Embodied sexuality, enfleshed spirituality

In the Forest –
I dance with the Trees
swaying sinuously (I feel it
whether it would seem such
to any observer) with the Wind
as they sway with the Wind
in the bark-skin
or smooth weathered wood-skin
they are in
Spirit in skin
skin meeting Air
Air knowing skin
skin clothed in sunlight
I dance
my Body light (Light)
Spirit-infused
I dance
because I am Home
This is my Yes
to my Body
to the present moment
to the movement as it arises
from muscle and mind and more
This is my Yes
to my Body
to my Joy in my Body
my Yes here
gives birth to my Yes
to the Sacredness of Life
everywhere, everywhen
everyOne
My Yes here –
to embodied Joy
to enfleshing Joy
brings my Soul
Home

my Yes here
is my Yes to walking
in the world
with my Soul in my Body
as Beloved
and all Creation as
Beloved
which opens the space
unfolds the Path of Heart
to living toward all
as sacred
inviting a whole justice

my Yes to my Body
becomes a Yes to justice
toward Earth and all Her children

*********************

Yes to Pleasure

Yes to my Body –
appreciating the wonders of my Body
all of it is wonder
wondrous
marvelously created and recreated every moment
wondrous
simply to take joy in the Air
as it slides smoothly, silkily
worshipping my skin
nothing between me and the Wind and the Light
but an unashamed knowing
I am Home, delightedly Home

*******************

The Sensuality of All Things

I am overcome with the sensuality
of all things
the naked splendor of Creation
look – how artfully Earth has clothed
Herself, in frothy fronds of vegetations
how the Trees have adorned themselves
with leaves or needles of all shapes and patterns
in lushly infinite shimmering shades of greens
blossoms, sweetly, seductively scented
Ah, River, swathed in layers of ribbons and ripples
bright bubbly buoyant currents
caressing sandbars and driftwood
/Tree fallen to River’s charms – sun-bleached
her long Body arching above the eddies
foamy lace skirts gathering along
her length, River draping herself over her lover’s bosom
and Tree’s hand outstretched, bearing a garland
– and a cross – sacrament, or
sacrifice, are you, my time-toppled queen –
Perhaps you are both –
you are yet living, nurturing life
in your belly turned toward the Sun
green growing there and at your feet/

I am overcome by the sensuality of the River,
the Tree embracing as she would any island
in her Body
I am overcome by the sensuality of the Tree
her wide weathered girth
warm between my legs
(for you see, of course I waded out to know her)
as I sit astraddle her middle
my palms on the wind-smoothed sun-whitened wood
– hmm, is this a faint pulse, a hum,
an Om,
I feel? The Tree still singing –
an ancient enduring rhythm
Or – is it only my wishful Heart
feeling the rhythm (its own rhythm?)
Or – is it River’s rhyme and rhythm thrumming through
into me, my blood and spirit responding
with its own Song
Whatever truth may be here
this truth seems alove –
this Tree still knows Creation
Creation still knows her –
still sings to her –
Om – you are, you are –
And so I rest here, intimately blessed
while River teases and tickles my toes
with bubbling, crooning current
And I –
overcome with the sensuality of all things
the boldly bespoken sensuality
in-dwelling in all Creation –
I am brought into communion
with this sacred sensuality
and into a knowing
that it burgeons ripely in my own soul
brimming over –
My Soul insisting on experiencing itself
an unbearable wholeness of Being
Body and Soul and Creation,
One

**************************

Abolish Industrialized Egocentrism: Return to Reverencing the Validity and Sacredness of all Creation
or
A NonSaviorist Healing Collaboration with Earth and Creation

(Adapted from a rough draft journal entry essay, and perhaps best refined in that form to hold more space for the personal story context of these reflections.)

“We save what we love; we cannot save what we do not love”
How can we ‘save the Earth’
without loving and caring for even the smallest of living creatures
caring deeply about the effect of our way of living on them
caring about the violence done in supposed ‘innocence’ and ignorance,
without seeing even the lives of ants, beetles, centipedes, spiders
and other tiny creeping and crawling and flying forms of life
as valid and sacred, as much or more than our bipedal beings
Is that not where it starts – the greening of our souls
the greening of Creation justice in our souls
begins by seeing and believing, beloving, as valid and sacred –
minute but not a mite minor –
the lives of all organisms, no matter how small, visible or not to the eyes
(but becoming visible to the eyes of the heart)
by knowing their lives, their existence, their ecosystems are connected
to us and our ways of living that do violence to them, do violence to us

In the notion that we can ‘save the Earth’
by our intentions or actions, in our will or strength
the ears of my heart have begun to hear
echoes of a saviorist, human-centered tone
And as I ponder these notions of saving – of being a savior
resemblance rises to notions of possessor, conqueror, ruler
Even with best intentions of doing good
it seems we humans so often still
(desire to)
put ourselves on the throne
of nature (Creation)

But what is most needful, what will save us, what will save Earth,
is to step down from the throne
to learn a reverent stewardship –
to re-learn this from the wise ones who have never forgotten
who have stayed close to the Earth and know Creation ways well
to repent and re-learn and return to our original closeness
the knowing and abundance abandoned in a rush to rule
rather than be in relationship with Earth and Creation
What is needful, what will save us, what will save Earth,
is stepping down from the throne
to take in and live a mindful humility
confronting humanity’s creation of an industrialized egocentrism
and examining our participation in it
and how a materialist, mechanized way of living
disturbs the peace of many living parts of Creation
doing violence and dealing death
while going about our everyday lives –
perhaps simply seeking to survive in an inequitable society
perhaps following social conditioning, attempting to fit in
or operate in the structures ordained and established
or maintain a home or make a living
to feed a family –
our participation in this paradigm perpetuates it
and perpetrates it on others
disturbing our own peace, griming our own souls

Stepping down from the throne
to touch the Earth again
opens the path forward
to walk with softer feet and humbler mind
heart and hands wiser in action
Learning how to mourn the violences done and how to repent
participating in, feeling, and beloving the sacredness of all living parts of Creation –
beloving ourselves and all peoples as sacred Creation –
knowing all Creation as living –
experiencing a heart-shift into the ‘greening of our self/our soul’ –
all needful to understand what it would mean to be in
harmonizing collaboration with Creation instead of discordant domination
We can learn, re-learn, to trust that when we do this,
when we step down from the throne we usurped
we are saving the Earth by trusting her to heal and save herself
We cannot be saviors of Creation; we can but become collaborators with Creation
with Earth, in the Healing
of our shared wounds
of our shared Web of life

May we awaken to this great Healing
May we embody it

Redefining everything

/ Lanae / 2 Comments Featured

I’ve been feeling like my words have all been coming for me recently, echoing back at me … both reproachfully and hopefully!

All the various deep intentions I challenged myself to practice and to be …

Being mindful, practicing deep listening

Being an includer, practicing radical inclusion

To nurture belongingness for those who have felt a sense of not belonging

Being peace

Being stillness, being a healing presence

Choosing abundance

Living these words has felt painfully hard recently, feeling like I was failing to live my spiritual practices. And yet these words, these intentions have still anchored me …

In mid-October, I gave a reflection at my church home about choosing abundance and gratitude. How I learned to choose abundance, abandon the myth of scarcity, the one that said that there wasn’t enough and I would never be enough or have enough. How I’d spent years in poverty-thinking and I was done with that …

But even though I passionately declared myself done with it, I guess it wasn’t done with me!  I found myself mired, struggling to remember abundance or to have the strength to choose it, day upon day. And I felt like such a fraud … teaching what I was struggling to do/be!

And what I wrote recently about coming to see my life-mission as being peace, being stillness, being a healing presence? Certainly, there’s truth there, regarding that as a calling, but how it was presently showing up in my spirit?? Mmm, not so much maybe! Even when I published the post, I was thinking, my dear girl, this won’t ring right  … because right now, your energy, your spirit doesn’t match these words!

I certainly wasn’t feeling like I was a healing presence, because I definitely didn’t feel still or serene within. I was aching, hurting, grieving, feeling lonely, unsupported, burdened, overwhelmed.

It’s not been an easy year by any stretch … yes, there has been much blessing, but a profound collection of losses, and an accumulation of layers of grief and sorrow.
The specters of depression sprang up … anger, fear, shame, despair, loneliness. Self-pity, resentment. Seeds I didn’t want, didn’t want to water. They made it difficult for me to remember abundance, to choose it … and they’ve caused me to begin redefining what choosing abundance looks like, in different circumstances. How does one draw abundance from dark emotions? It’s a (lonely) labor of love!
And I’ve tried, oh, I’ve tried to remember abundance in this hard, valley season … if it was hard to choose it, at least to remember it! To remember the gift of belovedness.
I’ve tried to nurture my spiritual practices, and let them nurture me. I’ve tried to rest in this posture, difficult as it is (more of my words that came back to me).

In all of that, I think the theme of this year has become redefining! Redefining – and refining.

Redefining myself, redefining my spirituality/spiritual practice, redefining my intentions and expectations. Redefining abundance and what choosing abundance looks like.

Redefining even the act of defining things, learning to let go of my need to define things!

Redefining everything …

There was the divorce … and learning to live life as a single, working mom (while continuing grad school!). And I’ll not sugarcoat it – it’s been hard and deeply overwhelming. Yes, sometimes such a triumphant feeling to realize what I can do and what I can handle, but also – overwhelming!
And yet, so many big decisions to make on my own and so many responsibilities and obligations (like, managing finances alone!), and so much uncertainty, and so much on my plate …  and so little time!
The busyness and fullness of my life – on one hand, satisfying, and yet on the other, feeling like it robbed me of friendship and connection time.
A cold and searing loneliness confronted me.
And the voice of poverty told me that I didn’t have enough support, care, love, affirmation …. but oh, how it told untruths! I do know that, because the voice of abundance brought again to my heart the many beautiful things that dear friends have done for me, big and small:

  •                 the friend who got a family photography session gifted to me
  •                 the friend who organized a clothing drive for my children at the beginning of the school year (and the generous response to that)
  •                 the long phone conversations with one friend
  •                 the friend who sat with me as I cried in shock after losing my job earlier in the year
  •                 the friends who have picked up my son from middle school several times when I was working
  •                 the kind, loving words here and there that have added up to a sweet bouquet

Too, there was also the felt weight of withdrawal in some long-time friendships (from my past church), heavier in my heart as silences made the sense of emotional distancing more tangible. This weight has lightened, though.

Redefining friendships, connection, sisterhood, community … learning what my village looks like. It might not look like what someone else’s looks like, or the ideas that society and social media have given me, but it doesn’t need to! If I open my heart, if I see with different eyes, if I look right next to me, it’s there … you’re there! Friendships, community, sisterhood – they are for me just as they need to be for me for this season. And are enough, if I let them be!

And then there was my first girlfriend experience, and then a break-up. To be clear, it was a special experience, rich in many ways! I’m thankful for what I learned from her and the relationship, but the break-up really rocked me.

Redefining love-relationship needs and desires … learning to be content unpartnered, for now.

Then, I lost one job – but found another, one that has been good for me in so many ways. Loss = gain.

Redefining my professional value and competence. 

Hopes humbled and dreams deferred …  A niche that I had had the idea that I might fill, but became clear didn’t belong to me. Some dreams and passions that I had to say goodbye to, at least in the form I had envisioned them.

It turned out to be a long, hard goodbye, and it’s been hard to find the hellos that follow the goodbyes. Even though I know about letting go gracefully of that which is not meant for me, and that letting go of old possibilities opens up new opportunities, I still felt the deep sting of loss, all the way into my core.

And it shook me, badly, unexpectedly. It stirred up resentments and fears that surprised me with their presence and power. I think it showed the depth of my attachment to those expectations and ideas, too.

(So much for learning to practice non-attachment! This quote comes to mind: The mark of a moderate woman is freedom from her own ideas. Alas, I am not (yet) a moderate woman, then! But it’s a life goal!)

I’d made the mistake of attaching my identity to my idea of what my role, my calling was. I’d tied my sense of belongingness to it. So, I felt unmoored  … another loss, another grief. One I didn’t really receive with grace or gratitude, I tell you!

Redefining calling, role, identity. And – letting go of the need to be defined by them.

So yes, the last while, loneliness and grief have been familiar companions.  So familiar I simply decided to befriend them and make peace with them. (I think that’s how you draw what abundance and healing there is to draw from them, anyway!)

I know that this is the holiday time, the season of joy to the world and peace on earth, and it’s not festive to speak of loneliness and grief and sorrow – but these are also a part of the holiday experience for many, because they’re a part of the human experience.

Redefining the value and reality of grief and loneliness.

Don’t get me wrong, I do know joy still, I know there’s a place of joy deep in the center of my being; I know there’s light within! There’s still stillness …

Redefining ideas and expectations about being stillness, being peace, being a healing presence.

I have learned and am learning still that I need not judge myself for not always knowing equanimity and stillness. There’s no need to define myself by the presence or absence of any emotion or experience. I’m human – part of being human is feeling deep pain, experiencing grief, sorrow, loneliness, dark emotions. As I’ve written before (more words that keep coming back for me!) sorrow is a sacred part of belovedness. So is grief. So is loneliness.

Redefining my whole emotional experience.

Redefining my journey, my story.

Redefining everything …  refining everything. Being refined.

Further and deeper, learning to let some things be undefined … learning to let the journey and the experience be as it is, in this moment, this season!

 

 

Beginnings and continuings

/ Lanae / Leave a comment Featured

So, dear friends, it’s been a while since my last post … and now it’s a year since this blog was born, and the anniversary of my very first post!

And as the milestone approached, I’ve done some reflecting, on the past, present, and future of the blog.

When I started this blog, it was with the simple intent to speak truth in love, to echo belovedness, to encourage mindfulness.

I believe, I hope, that I have fulfilled those purposes, yes, and so if I measure the success of the blog by just that simple gauge, then it’s been successful enough.

I don’t think I had any specific visions of having a popular blog, but I did want to reach people and touch lives, hearts, minds, souls … I wanted to reach a significant number of people and have a deep impact! I desired to sow many seeds, seeds of loving-kindness, seeds of compassion, seeds of mindfulness. I wanted to inspire broadened perspectives, to encourage equanimity and grace …

To open up deeper connections and engage in thoughtful conversations …

To look at matters of the heart and soul, of truth and justice, of relationships with ourselves and others, in the light of Belovedness …

Sometimes, I wondered … is any of this happening; if it is happening, is it happening very much? I couldn’t see if much was happening … and I wanted to see and know! It rather seems to be my nature, that I want to see and know, and accepting that sometimes I am simply not going to be able to see and know is hard.

And I had to ask myself the questions: was I writing for the views, or writing to share my views for whatever good they might mean, whether that was to 10, 50, or 100? Was I writing to feed my ego or pride, or writing to feed the souls of whomever read the words, whether that was 10, 50, or 100?

Was I writing from the soul and from the heart? Was my heart and soul fed by simply writing and sharing and loving and being?

I think, as this new year begins, and a new year of blogging begins, that I have learned to let it be. Something has shifted and relaxed, become more fluid and free, in my blogging perspective, in my life perspective.

The success of this blog still matters to me … I just define that success differently, if indeed I even bother to define it! I’m being more intentional about not creating some clear-cut definition, but letting the definition be fluid and flow as it will. And letting truth and Belovedness flow as they will, letting whatever words come flow as they will. And doing more trusting and less controlling …

So perhaps this blog will have a fresher, freer feel and flow to it!

Related to that new feel and flow …

I am teaching a mindfulness/meditation class each week at a local yoga studio, which has been a beautiful new challenge and learning experience for me.

(The class is called ‘Awakening Stillness’ … which harmonizes beautifully with ‘Echoing Belovedness,’ don’t you think?!)

One thing I’ve learned in planning for this class is to distill my thoughts and words. I like to have a theme, such as surrender or being present or creating space, form the structure of the movements and the meditation in each class.

And a meditation class is not a lecture class! Only a few clear, concise words are needed to speak of following the breath, letting attention be anchored in the breath, being aware of breath in the body. Only a few clear, concise phrases are needed to invite people to consider the theme, the seed-thought.

Simplicity and clarity in my words, my instruction allows space for the seed-thought to be whatever it needs to be, or not be, for each person in the class.

Simplicity makes the teaching clearer and the message stronger. It takes much stillness to find such simplicity and clarity. A stillness I am still, and always, seeking!

But perhaps I can learn to distill my thoughts and words, desires and expectations, for this blog in the same manner as I have learned to do for my class …to be still and let the distilling happen!

Awaken stillness to more clearly echo belovedness!

Sacred time, sacred friendships

/ Lanae / Leave a comment Featured

Recently, I read a book called Sacred Time, and the search for Meaning, about time, our seeking and longing for sacred time. Sacred time as time that’s different than clock time … time measured in the depth of timeless meaning contained within it, time that is not-time, time that is like the Eternal Now. Or, as it’s sometimes called, Kairos, God’s time … Sacred Time.

The more rushed we are, the more we seek this time, we seek ways to carve out this time in the midst of all the rush and stress and busyness and expectations of modern life.  Sacred time, Sabbath time … timeless time.

Technology and social media were perhaps supposed to grant us this time, this liberty of time, and yet seem to have instead robbed us … robbed us of sacred time, robbed us of connection, connection to rest, to stillness, to one another …

Leaving us with a longing and craving for this sacred time.

And I realized, I long for it, too, and something more – and maybe I’m not the only one!

I desire deeply to have sacred time IN my friendships.

Sacred friendship time – time that’s timeless, time not measured by the clock, not scheduled, but spacious, with the liberty to be. Friendship time where time is forgotten, where it’s not the master (or mistress), where watches and planners and phones are set aside, and we just ARE … We just are there, we just are who we are, hearts and souls in sacred time together, in sacred conversation and connection.

I know our modern world doesn’t exactly allow this … but what if it did? What if we together remade it to allow this?

What if we defied the rush and press of clock time and created such sacred spaces in our own lives?! What boundless abundance might we discover?

I think there’s as much a seeking and a longing for sacred friendships as there is for sacred time. Only, I suspect many aren’t deeply or keenly aware of a need, or of a lack, and perhaps seek either to ignore it or to fill it in other ways, with work or other activities, things that are needful, valuable, beautiful in themselves …

Yet, are those things as fruitful as they could be if they fill available time at the expense of nurturing sacred friendships, soul connections? Are they as fruitful for the individual soul or the soul of the community, the world?

Is life itself as rich and fruitful and meaningful without the presence of sacred friendships, soul connections, soul friends?

I don’t think so. Not for me, anyway!

Maybe it’s harder to nurture those sacred friendships, to find those soul friends, when sacred time itself is so hard to find … but maybe the secret for finding both is to become still, to become very present in your life, and allow yourself to be found by them!

So, what is a sacred friendship? A soul friend? What do those concepts, truths, mean to you?

Here’s how I know sacred friendship:

It invites and cultivates a strong spiritual connection. It’s a spiritually intimate friendship, where deeper things can be shared: ideas, emotions, fears, needs, wounds – not just at mind-depth, not just at heart-depth, but also at soul-depth.

A friendship where deep vulnerability and transparency are present …  where each of you is safe to be deeply vulnerable and transparent with one another. Where there’s safety because each of you loves the soul, and the heart, of the other …

A friendship where not just the social and emotional needs are met, but also the soul needs.

You are friends with each other’s souls …

In the Celtic tradition, Anam Cara is the term for soul friend … some lovely, powerful things have been said about what Anam Cara means:

A soul friend is one who walks with and supports the soul of another human being.

Or, as John O’Donohue writes:

The Anam Cara was a person to whom you could reveal the hidden intimacies of your life. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging.  [It] cuts across all convention and category.

And:

In everyone’s life, there is great need for an Anam cara, a soul friend. In this love, you are understood as you are without mask or pretension. The superficial and functional lies and half-truths of acquaintance fall away. You can be as you truly are …

Such a rich, restorative sacredness in that sort of relationship! Such a safeness, a spacious safeness, perhaps not for the ego, but certainly for the soul.

I think there’s a longing for such meaningful friendships within many of us … yet also perhaps a fear.

Because it means vulnerability and authenticity, a realness and an honesty … an intimacy that perhaps seems too deep, or too intense.

Yet, it’s not an intimacy that needs to feel frightening … or be consuming. It can be, should be, an intimacy that’s comforting, spacious, expansive, generous …  an expansive closeness, full of grace and space. As the poet Khalil Gibran said – Let there be spaces in your togetherness …

Spaces of stillness or physical apartness…

But perhaps the first soul friend you need to seek and find is yourself, to befriend your own soul. Because you are never truly apart from yourself … wherever you go, there you are!

Learn how to be with yourself in stillness. And in the stillness, awaken to know and love your own soul …

And then, you are awakened to the sacredness in your relationships … and your soul friends find you! And you can love yourself, and your neighbor as yourself.

Oh, I am so grateful for soul friends I’ve had in my life … who have held a mirror up to me, so I could see my soul reflected there.

Who have loved me as I am, and have encouraged me to live in truth and love …

Who have explored deep places with me, and have taught me precious, wise things …

Who have seen my darkness and walked with me in it, and have been the flame that kept my candle lit …

Who have not been afraid to speak the truth, even hard things, in love, and yet have known when to keep silence in love …

Who have known how to hold space and when to give space.

My soul gives thanks for you!

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Oh my friends, may you all be blessed and bless yourselves with sacred time, sacred friendships … your souls and lives nurtured and nourished through spacious and gracious relationship!

 

 

 

Radical inclusion

/ Lanae / Leave a comment

Thoughts about the concepts of radical inclusion and inclusiveness have been brewing in my brain for a while!

I’ve been part of a few conversations recently about how desirable a quality inclusiveness is in a person, in a leader, or in an institution, such as a church or government … and the circles grow wider out into society, into the world.

I’ve loved these conversations about inclusiveness, about radical inclusion, and I love that these ideas and practices seem so important to so many. I’ve observed also though that there seem to be varied ideas about what being inclusive or engaging in radical inclusion means to people. Different definitions, different visions, different expectations …

It seems like a good, deep conversation is needed to clarify just what we’re meaning if/when we talk about inclusiveness, about radical inclusion. But first perhaps some good, deep personal reflection is necessary, to be still and consider what those concepts mean to us, how we define them, how we would be willing to be inclusive or to practice a radical inclusion in our lives, the circles we’re a part of … workplace, family, church, organizations …

Just how inclusive is our inclusiveness? Just how ‘radical’ is our radical inclusion? Whom would we include?  And in what spirit would we include them?

I can’t answer those questions or define radical inclusion for anyone else but I want to share what it means to me, how I define it, what my vision of it is, how I want to live it …

First, there’s that word ‘radical.’ It sounds, well, radical, doesn’t it! It can seem militant, extreme, suspicious, drastic … but it also means profound, far-reaching, awe-inspiring, fundamental, essential. These are powerful words, aren’t they? Powerful words with depth. Words used to describe something powerful, transformational, revolutionary.

And that’s what radical inclusion is, what it offers in practice … something powerful, transformational, revolutionary.

Something powerfully inviting and compassionate. Radical inclusion as a compassionate invitation … a universal and universally compassionate invitation, into conversation and connection, into belonging.

In my vision, there are other ‘radical’ things that are part of the foundation of radical inclusion: self-acceptance, grace, compassion. Profound, far-reaching, awesome, fundamental, essential things. Things that are powerful, transformational, and revolutionary in themselves … but what makes them all those things, what makes grace radical, what makes compassion radical, is the depth and breadth and width to which they are expressed and lived.

That they aren’t just words or concepts or even practices … but lived Truths.

And self-acceptance …  radical in a spiritually transformational way! Because what it involves is meeting yourself where you are, as you are in the here and now, showing compassion and kindness toward yourself where you are, recognizing the imperfections and the suffering in yourself and loving yourself nonetheless, laying aside destructive self-judgments … an act of radical inclusion that begins with yourself, your soul!

A powerfully compassionate invitation to yourself … to love yourself as your own neighbor.

Where does, where can, this act of personal radical inclusion lead? It can lead into a place of healing, change, and growth, where you have the strength to let go of attachments you may need to let go of in order to heal and to love wholly …

It can lead into a deeper compassion and empathy, a broader understanding of grace, a wider view of acceptance, the ability to love wholly ….

It becomes the foundation of an ever-widening radical inclusion … to love every person as your neighbor, as you have learned to love yourself.

And so this vision of radical inclusion: Whom does it include? Who is, who should be, invited into the circle of radical inclusion?

Everyone! All of humanity. For who is not my neighbor? And are there any whom I should not love?

Maybe one vision sees a Jesus-like notion of radical inclusion that looks outward and sees the need to welcome the outcast, the homeless, the poor, the disenfranchised, the oppressed …

Maybe that vision extends to a progressive radical inclusion that is multi-ethnic, multi-cultural, that includes those of many races. Or respecting and honoring other faith traditions; an interfaith inclusion. Or welcoming and loving those of diverse sexual or gender identities, those who have been stigmatized, misunderstood, even reviled or shunned …

It seems that sometimes though a view of radical inclusion might form that actually includes a clause of exclusion, if you will – that those we’ve judged as having wrong views or values, we might exclude from our vision of inclusion. We might see them as not being worthy of welcoming, of radical inclusion … of love.

Radical inclusion includes letting go of those clauses of exclusion!

For who else does radical inclusion include? It includes those with whom we disagree, those who have differing views … it means letting go of attachments to political affiliations and religious ideologies. Not compromising soul-deep convictions and values, but yet loving our neighbor far above loving our own ideas and perspectives, and making such love a highest value!

And who is my neighbor? You are my neighbor. I am your neighbor. No matter our differences in any sense, no matter how different your life journey has been than mine, you are my neighbor and I am called to love you.

No matter how different your perspective on life, no matter how different your perceptions of the Ultimate truths about life, spirituality and sacredness, or your experience (or not) of the divine, you are my neighbor. And I am called to learn from you and to love you.

We meet where we are, as who we are, and listen to and love one another.

This is my definition, my vision, of radical inclusion. This is where I see so much hope of healing, of reconciliation, of unity!

We will always be different and diverse. But we can have diversity in unity; unity in diversity. And Love, belovedness, binding it together, bringing wholeness …

Let us extend that compassionate invitation into conversation and connection to all, to one another!

And through that powerful, transformational, revolutionary act of radical inclusion become one people!

 

Reflections about my blogging …

/ Lanae / 5 Comments

I have felt rather quiet recently … and without much idea of what I might talk about in another post.

Well, maybe some of that feeling is related to the unkind little flu-bug I have been dealing with the last while that left me feeling like a trainwreck, muddle-headed, with fire in my joints and muscles! That’s probably as good of a reason as any to take a time of rest – and let some things go, let others wait … well, except graduate students do still have to get their schoolwork in on time, muddle-headed and all!

And some of that feeling is related to evaluating what I am doing with this blog … or what this blog is doing with me, too! Looking at the desires and intentions, the vision, I had for this space to be a space of connection and conversation and looking at whether it really feels like a comfortable and inviting space to you all … is there a significant divergence between my intentions and vision and my actual creation? That the direction I wanted to go, stated I wanted to go, is not exactly the direction in which I find myself having gone?

Well, divergence happens, direction changes happen … and then perhaps direction corrections are in order, but perhaps sometimes not! Perhaps sometimes the “right” direction is the one you find yourself having gone, whether it was the one intended or planned. And it’s good to remember that often the destination can be approached from many different directions … there isn’t only one right path all the time!

And is it the precise direction or path that matters most – or the vision? Which leads? Perhaps the vision creates the right direction for itself …

I know sometimes I have written in a much more scholarly or teacher-ly (yes, I make up words sometimes! 😉 ) tone. Or sometimes maybe too abstract! And possibly this isn’t the right direction to go to create a ‘connection and conversation space,’ a relatable and vulnerable space. Then again, there really are many ways to create connection and conversation, to engage in connection and conversation!

And so perhaps I’m learning from this blog and what it’s doing with me that I need to be more mindful of my style of connection and conversation … to be mindful of how I can clarify and simplify the vision and the message I want to share, how I can clarify and simplify the way I share it!

And yet, I have been writing with my heart, my heart and my mind both, my soul and my intellect, with my own voice, offering authentic offerings … my blog itself is an imperfect, but authentic, offering. And I say ‘authentic’ because the messages I share and what I offer of myself there is not tailored to fit what I think anyone wants to hear or what I think anyone wants me to be … but it is coming from what I believe, what I belove, who I am seeking to be and to become.

But beyond the intention to craft a ‘connection and a conversation space,’ my deepest desire and vision is simply belovedness. Belovedness, I believe, has been in everything I’ve shared here … have the echoes of belovedness always been clear, have the bells of belovedness always resounded clearly? I hope so, oh how I hope so, because belovedness is my deepest intention, my clearest direction, my abiding vision …

So what vision is leading, then? Oh, the vision, the spirit, that is leading is Belovedness! That’s what this blog will always be most about … so that is what will create the direction.

Sometimes, though as I’ve been learning and learning and re-learning, just stopping and being still for a while, taking a rest, a Sabbath time, is the necessary thing to bring clarity … of both direction and vision. Being still, being patient. Letting things unfold. Letting the vision lead. Letting the journey, the direction fall into rhythm and harmony with the vision …

And perhaps what this blog is doing with me is teaching me simply to surrender … to take refuge in surrender.

To surrender my fears and fretting about the direction of this blog, about the direction of my life … to surrender my doubts and my discomfort with uncertainty … to surrender my overthinking and my impatience. To surrender my insecurity and my striving to be significant or influential …

Just to surrender to being vulnerable and to being humble …

To surrender more to mindfulness and to Belovedness!

Then, clarity and simplicity can come … and vision clears, the “right” direction, the “right” path, opens and unfolds.

On that note, I’ll sign off with a little poem I wrote this past November:

The stillness is heavenly                                                                                        
a November autumn day
gold still hanging on a few fine branches
like rare pendants adorning the trees
Gentle letting go still happening
as the colors of fall
drift from tree to grassy
resting places
A stillness today
And all the letting go
seems so gentle
today
Surrender, not loss
Surrender is triumph
in stillness
today
The light fresh and free
flowing still
flowering the air
with cool calm
Heavenly is the stillness
in the world and in I

Restorative Justice, Part 2: Circles of Relationship

/ Lanae / Leave a comment

Restorative justice, in both its distilled and its universal sense, is about relationships, and living is about relationships. Restorative justice as a way of life is about how we live in relationships, a mindful way of living in relationship, remembering interconnectedness and inter-being even in midst of suffering. Seeking to rebuild, renew, redeem, and restore relationships where there has been conflict, pain, wrong-doing, and crime, things that have wounded or broken the relationship.

While this restorative view of justice sees crime and wrong-doing as a violation of relationships, retributive justice instead sees it as a violation of laws, and the state, or society. While retributive justice sees these violations as creating guilt, restorative justice sees them as creating obligations. Retributive justice determines blame and enforces punishment, pain and suffering in return for pain and suffering as the way to restore the broken balance …

But how does retribution and punishment truly restore a broken balance? Does punishment teach accountability, or let the wrong-doer experience the impact or depth of how the ones they hurt were affected? Punishment may teach shame, but does it teach repentance?

Does punishment teach how to make right the heart … does it offer belovedness, a belovedness that perhaps the wrong-doer has not known and so carries untended the suffering of this unknowing?

Are broken relationships restored? Is the harm and pain caused by the wrongdoer healed by this? Is the wound within the wrongdoer that caused them to do wrong considered or treated, or is it perhaps deepened and widened, leading to possibility of further suffering and wrong-doing …

In contrast, restorative justice asks some simple and important relational questions: Who has been harmed? What are their needs? To whom do these obligations belong?

What are some of these obligations? Repentance, restitution, responsibility, accountability.

There is a debt to be paid, yes, but not so much a debt to the state or to society, as a debt to the specific relationships broken, the people directly harmed. Of course, the ripples of conflict or pain may spread into wider circles of relationship … but addressing and mending them in the smaller circles may save them from widening in wounding ways. Instead, healing can ripple outward …

Both retributive and restorative justice approaches acknowledge the necessity of consequences for the wrong-doing. However, instead of promoting punishment, restorative justice promotes discipline. Instead of an authoritarian response, it offers an authoritative, corrective response. It encourages the principles of compassion and non-violence, values of respect, responsibility, accountability, an ethics that puts the deeper needs – psychological, emotional, spiritual – of all those involved first.

In restorative justice is the understanding that retributive or punitive practices may often fail to meet those deeper needs. Sometimes, these practices may instead water seeds of injustice or oppression; sometimes, they may place heavy yokes upon all involved – individual, community, society.

Retribution does not necessarily lead to restitution or restoration, nor does it unequivocally seem to encourage soul-deep repentance or offer reconnection, and all of these beautiful things surely seem to belong to a true, rich, merciful justice.

I cannot hear very well echoes of belovedness in retributive or punitive ideas of justice … but I can hear them resounding in the principles and practices of restorative justice!

Restorative justice invites a new sort of relationship between those who have suffered and those who have caused it, between wrong-doers and their community, between wrong-doers and society, a relationship wherein the healing of repentance has opportunity to arise. Echoes of belovedness sounding forth in justice, a justice that neither discriminates nor judges wrong-doers unworthy of healing and help, of restoration and reconnection to the circle of community.

It is an invitation into a circle of conversation, an intentional dialogue. Within this circle, those who have done wrong or injustice, who have caused suffering, have the opportunity to see the impact of their words and their action. Within this circle of conversation can be present an invitation to healing of broken relationships with self, community, the Creator.

An invitation for belovedness to come into the heart of the circle and heal …

A healing of the circle of relationships, with self and Creator. A healing of the circle of community. Restoring the wholeness of the circle as much as possible … instead of the circle remaining broken, the brokenness can be named, known, addressed, healed to whatever depth it can be healed.

Restorative justice gives individuals who’ve been caused suffering the opportunity to voice their pain, to voice it to the one who caused the suffering, and to be heard about what might help make things right. It gives the one who has caused the suffering the opportunity to voice their pain, their shame and sorrow over the suffering caused. Together, they can come to see each other’s suffering. Simply sitting with someone and allowing them to express their sorrow and shame can be a healing experience; this is a practice of deep listening, listening with belovedness, watering seeds of peace, forgiveness, healing grace.

It may not be an easy thing to come into such a circle and it must be facilitated with great care, skill, grace … but what value there is in opening up the possibility of reconciliation, reconnection!

In the circle of relationship is healing; the circle of relationship is healing. Restorative justice can help heal a cycle of suffering … keep the circle of healing whole, open and inclusive of all wounded souls.

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I have emphasized here the circle of relationship/community, and restoration of the brokenness in this circle, as key to a restorative justice. It’s not just about criminal justice approaches but also about everyday living, how we believe and be-love. I feel it as a matter of justice also to acknowledge that many specific restorative justice models used in North America now are grounded in a First Nations understanding of the circles of life and relationship, of community and justice. The circle is a beautiful and meaningful symbol of life and creation, of relationship, in many cultures, globally. It is surely beautiful and meaningful to me!

I’d like to leave you with these takeaway questions to consider (and even to discuss your thoughts with others – or me! 🙂 ).

How can you perhaps view the criminal justice system now and those caught in it from a different perspective? What does the concept of a circle (circles) of relationship mean to you, and how would you apply it to a way of living restoratively, doing justice?

Stepping out of the boat

/ Lanae / 1 Comment

This is a brand-new venture to me, one that in many ways does indeed feel like a ‘stepping out of the boat’ experience! Over the years, a few friends have broached to me the possibility of creating a blog, and while I loved to write and felt I had been granted a gift for it, I felt hesitant to put myself and my words, my thoughts, into public space. Much safer, perhaps, to leave them in a private journal! (And besides that, it’s much easier to start up a journal – just get a nice notebook, maybe with a cool design on the front, a good pen, and start writing. I feel a bit overwhelmed with all the blog design logistics and possibilities, but I’m learning, and I’ll keep learning, and maybe tweaking, as I go!)

It wasn’t only a matter of vulnerability, however, but that the time didn’t seem quite right; I didn’t feel prepared with a clear purpose, vision, or calling. But somehow, these things have settled into place, and so, when a good friend again encouraged me to start a blog, the answer within me was clear: “yes, now is the time!” Yes, time to use, to share, to open my gift in fresh ways, not be silent and not hide, even if it does feel like ‘stepping out of the boat,’ out of a comfort-zone into a challenge-zone.

The phrase ‘stepping out of the boat’ arose from a poem I was introduced to a few months, a poem that acted as an inspiration and affirmation of courage to take a bold risk at that time. I think it is just as applicable, just as affirming for me now, and perhaps it can be so for anyone reading it here too!

To sinful patterns of behavior that never get confronted and changed,
Abilities and gifts that never get cultivated and deployed –
Until weeks become months
And months turn into years,
And one day you’re looking back on a life of
Deep intimate gut-wrenchingly honest conversations you never had;
Great bold prayers you never prayed,
Exhilarating risks you never took,
Sacrificial gifts you never offered,
Lives you never touched,
And you’re sitting in a recliner with a shriveled soul,
And forgotten dreams,
And you realize there was a world of desperate need,
And a great God calling you to be part of something bigger than yourself –
You see the person you could have become but did not;
You never followed your calling.
You never got out of the boat

Gregg Levoy

Having begun, I hardly know where to start, except just to start! It might help a little to clarify why I chose the name I have chosen for this blog, what its story is. The word ‘belovedness’ has come to be very precious to me, as the way I experience my relationship with the Divine, but also as the way in which I want to be in relationship with others, with everyone. In my spiritual journey, I have come to know that I am beloved, that I live in Belovedness, and so this love, this belovedness, is what I want to pour forth in my being, my living, my writing.

I want to speak and write in belovedness, to send echoes of belovedness into the world, and to encourage, inspire, promote, and cultivate love, compassion, and justice. I may touch upon challenging topics at times, but always with earnest intent of speaking for and in belovedness. I’ll post happy things, grateful things, thoughtful things, playful things, joyful things, too … all are part of the echoes of belovedness!

There is, of course, a backstory, the narrative of my life’s journey, this path that I have followed in becoming who I am and who I am still becoming to be, this path to belovedness. Rather than begin with the sum of it, I’ll share as we go along together. And I do hope you all will come along, and help make this a space of honest, vulnerable conversation and connection, a place to learn and grow together!