Tag: conversation

Radical inclusion

/ Lanae / Leave a comment

Thoughts about the concepts of radical inclusion and inclusiveness have been brewing in my brain for a while!

I’ve been part of a few conversations recently about how desirable a quality inclusiveness is in a person, in a leader, or in an institution, such as a church or government … and the circles grow wider out into society, into the world.

I’ve loved these conversations about inclusiveness, about radical inclusion, and I love that these ideas and practices seem so important to so many. I’ve observed also though that there seem to be varied ideas about what being inclusive or engaging in radical inclusion means to people. Different definitions, different visions, different expectations …

It seems like a good, deep conversation is needed to clarify just what we’re meaning if/when we talk about inclusiveness, about radical inclusion. But first perhaps some good, deep personal reflection is necessary, to be still and consider what those concepts mean to us, how we define them, how we would be willing to be inclusive or to practice a radical inclusion in our lives, the circles we’re a part of … workplace, family, church, organizations …

Just how inclusive is our inclusiveness? Just how ‘radical’ is our radical inclusion? Whom would we include?  And in what spirit would we include them?

I can’t answer those questions or define radical inclusion for anyone else but I want to share what it means to me, how I define it, what my vision of it is, how I want to live it …

First, there’s that word ‘radical.’ It sounds, well, radical, doesn’t it! It can seem militant, extreme, suspicious, drastic … but it also means profound, far-reaching, awe-inspiring, fundamental, essential. These are powerful words, aren’t they? Powerful words with depth. Words used to describe something powerful, transformational, revolutionary.

And that’s what radical inclusion is, what it offers in practice … something powerful, transformational, revolutionary.

Something powerfully inviting and compassionate. Radical inclusion as a compassionate invitation … a universal and universally compassionate invitation, into conversation and connection, into belonging.

In my vision, there are other ‘radical’ things that are part of the foundation of radical inclusion: self-acceptance, grace, compassion. Profound, far-reaching, awesome, fundamental, essential things. Things that are powerful, transformational, and revolutionary in themselves … but what makes them all those things, what makes grace radical, what makes compassion radical, is the depth and breadth and width to which they are expressed and lived.

That they aren’t just words or concepts or even practices … but lived Truths.

And self-acceptance …  radical in a spiritually transformational way! Because what it involves is meeting yourself where you are, as you are in the here and now, showing compassion and kindness toward yourself where you are, recognizing the imperfections and the suffering in yourself and loving yourself nonetheless, laying aside destructive self-judgments … an act of radical inclusion that begins with yourself, your soul!

A powerfully compassionate invitation to yourself … to love yourself as your own neighbor.

Where does, where can, this act of personal radical inclusion lead? It can lead into a place of healing, change, and growth, where you have the strength to let go of attachments you may need to let go of in order to heal and to love wholly …

It can lead into a deeper compassion and empathy, a broader understanding of grace, a wider view of acceptance, the ability to love wholly ….

It becomes the foundation of an ever-widening radical inclusion … to love every person as your neighbor, as you have learned to love yourself.

And so this vision of radical inclusion: Whom does it include? Who is, who should be, invited into the circle of radical inclusion?

Everyone! All of humanity. For who is not my neighbor? And are there any whom I should not love?

Maybe one vision sees a Jesus-like notion of radical inclusion that looks outward and sees the need to welcome the outcast, the homeless, the poor, the disenfranchised, the oppressed …

Maybe that vision extends to a progressive radical inclusion that is multi-ethnic, multi-cultural, that includes those of many races. Or respecting and honoring other faith traditions; an interfaith inclusion. Or welcoming and loving those of diverse sexual or gender identities, those who have been stigmatized, misunderstood, even reviled or shunned …

It seems that sometimes though a view of radical inclusion might form that actually includes a clause of exclusion, if you will – that those we’ve judged as having wrong views or values, we might exclude from our vision of inclusion. We might see them as not being worthy of welcoming, of radical inclusion … of love.

Radical inclusion includes letting go of those clauses of exclusion!

For who else does radical inclusion include? It includes those with whom we disagree, those who have differing views … it means letting go of attachments to political affiliations and religious ideologies. Not compromising soul-deep convictions and values, but yet loving our neighbor far above loving our own ideas and perspectives, and making such love a highest value!

And who is my neighbor? You are my neighbor. I am your neighbor. No matter our differences in any sense, no matter how different your life journey has been than mine, you are my neighbor and I am called to love you.

No matter how different your perspective on life, no matter how different your perceptions of the Ultimate truths about life, spirituality and sacredness, or your experience (or not) of the divine, you are my neighbor. And I am called to learn from you and to love you.

We meet where we are, as who we are, and listen to and love one another.

This is my definition, my vision, of radical inclusion. This is where I see so much hope of healing, of reconciliation, of unity!

We will always be different and diverse. But we can have diversity in unity; unity in diversity. And Love, belovedness, binding it together, bringing wholeness …

Let us extend that compassionate invitation into conversation and connection to all, to one another!

And through that powerful, transformational, revolutionary act of radical inclusion become one people!

 

Reflections about my blogging …

/ Lanae / 5 Comments

I have felt rather quiet recently … and without much idea of what I might talk about in another post.

Well, maybe some of that feeling is related to the unkind little flu-bug I have been dealing with the last while that left me feeling like a trainwreck, muddle-headed, with fire in my joints and muscles! That’s probably as good of a reason as any to take a time of rest – and let some things go, let others wait … well, except graduate students do still have to get their schoolwork in on time, muddle-headed and all!

And some of that feeling is related to evaluating what I am doing with this blog … or what this blog is doing with me, too! Looking at the desires and intentions, the vision, I had for this space to be a space of connection and conversation and looking at whether it really feels like a comfortable and inviting space to you all … is there a significant divergence between my intentions and vision and my actual creation? That the direction I wanted to go, stated I wanted to go, is not exactly the direction in which I find myself having gone?

Well, divergence happens, direction changes happen … and then perhaps direction corrections are in order, but perhaps sometimes not! Perhaps sometimes the “right” direction is the one you find yourself having gone, whether it was the one intended or planned. And it’s good to remember that often the destination can be approached from many different directions … there isn’t only one right path all the time!

And is it the precise direction or path that matters most – or the vision? Which leads? Perhaps the vision creates the right direction for itself …

I know sometimes I have written in a much more scholarly or teacher-ly (yes, I make up words sometimes! 😉 ) tone. Or sometimes maybe too abstract! And possibly this isn’t the right direction to go to create a ‘connection and conversation space,’ a relatable and vulnerable space. Then again, there really are many ways to create connection and conversation, to engage in connection and conversation!

And so perhaps I’m learning from this blog and what it’s doing with me that I need to be more mindful of my style of connection and conversation … to be mindful of how I can clarify and simplify the vision and the message I want to share, how I can clarify and simplify the way I share it!

And yet, I have been writing with my heart, my heart and my mind both, my soul and my intellect, with my own voice, offering authentic offerings … my blog itself is an imperfect, but authentic, offering. And I say ‘authentic’ because the messages I share and what I offer of myself there is not tailored to fit what I think anyone wants to hear or what I think anyone wants me to be … but it is coming from what I believe, what I belove, who I am seeking to be and to become.

But beyond the intention to craft a ‘connection and a conversation space,’ my deepest desire and vision is simply belovedness. Belovedness, I believe, has been in everything I’ve shared here … have the echoes of belovedness always been clear, have the bells of belovedness always resounded clearly? I hope so, oh how I hope so, because belovedness is my deepest intention, my clearest direction, my abiding vision …

So what vision is leading, then? Oh, the vision, the spirit, that is leading is Belovedness! That’s what this blog will always be most about … so that is what will create the direction.

Sometimes, though as I’ve been learning and learning and re-learning, just stopping and being still for a while, taking a rest, a Sabbath time, is the necessary thing to bring clarity … of both direction and vision. Being still, being patient. Letting things unfold. Letting the vision lead. Letting the journey, the direction fall into rhythm and harmony with the vision …

And perhaps what this blog is doing with me is teaching me simply to surrender … to take refuge in surrender.

To surrender my fears and fretting about the direction of this blog, about the direction of my life … to surrender my doubts and my discomfort with uncertainty … to surrender my overthinking and my impatience. To surrender my insecurity and my striving to be significant or influential …

Just to surrender to being vulnerable and to being humble …

To surrender more to mindfulness and to Belovedness!

Then, clarity and simplicity can come … and vision clears, the “right” direction, the “right” path, opens and unfolds.

On that note, I’ll sign off with a little poem I wrote this past November:

The stillness is heavenly                                                                                        
a November autumn day
gold still hanging on a few fine branches
like rare pendants adorning the trees
Gentle letting go still happening
as the colors of fall
drift from tree to grassy
resting places
A stillness today
And all the letting go
seems so gentle
today
Surrender, not loss
Surrender is triumph
in stillness
today
The light fresh and free
flowing still
flowering the air
with cool calm
Heavenly is the stillness
in the world and in I

Restorative Justice, Part 2: Circles of Relationship

/ Lanae / Leave a comment

Restorative justice, in both its distilled and its universal sense, is about relationships, and living is about relationships. Restorative justice as a way of life is about how we live in relationships, a mindful way of living in relationship, remembering interconnectedness and inter-being even in midst of suffering. Seeking to rebuild, renew, redeem, and restore relationships where there has been conflict, pain, wrong-doing, and crime, things that have wounded or broken the relationship.

While this restorative view of justice sees crime and wrong-doing as a violation of relationships, retributive justice instead sees it as a violation of laws, and the state, or society. While retributive justice sees these violations as creating guilt, restorative justice sees them as creating obligations. Retributive justice determines blame and enforces punishment, pain and suffering in return for pain and suffering as the way to restore the broken balance …

But how does retribution and punishment truly restore a broken balance? Does punishment teach accountability, or let the wrong-doer experience the impact or depth of how the ones they hurt were affected? Punishment may teach shame, but does it teach repentance?

Does punishment teach how to make right the heart … does it offer belovedness, a belovedness that perhaps the wrong-doer has not known and so carries untended the suffering of this unknowing?

Are broken relationships restored? Is the harm and pain caused by the wrongdoer healed by this? Is the wound within the wrongdoer that caused them to do wrong considered or treated, or is it perhaps deepened and widened, leading to possibility of further suffering and wrong-doing …

In contrast, restorative justice asks some simple and important relational questions: Who has been harmed? What are their needs? To whom do these obligations belong?

What are some of these obligations? Repentance, restitution, responsibility, accountability.

There is a debt to be paid, yes, but not so much a debt to the state or to society, as a debt to the specific relationships broken, the people directly harmed. Of course, the ripples of conflict or pain may spread into wider circles of relationship … but addressing and mending them in the smaller circles may save them from widening in wounding ways. Instead, healing can ripple outward …

Both retributive and restorative justice approaches acknowledge the necessity of consequences for the wrong-doing. However, instead of promoting punishment, restorative justice promotes discipline. Instead of an authoritarian response, it offers an authoritative, corrective response. It encourages the principles of compassion and non-violence, values of respect, responsibility, accountability, an ethics that puts the deeper needs – psychological, emotional, spiritual – of all those involved first.

In restorative justice is the understanding that retributive or punitive practices may often fail to meet those deeper needs. Sometimes, these practices may instead water seeds of injustice or oppression; sometimes, they may place heavy yokes upon all involved – individual, community, society.

Retribution does not necessarily lead to restitution or restoration, nor does it unequivocally seem to encourage soul-deep repentance or offer reconnection, and all of these beautiful things surely seem to belong to a true, rich, merciful justice.

I cannot hear very well echoes of belovedness in retributive or punitive ideas of justice … but I can hear them resounding in the principles and practices of restorative justice!

Restorative justice invites a new sort of relationship between those who have suffered and those who have caused it, between wrong-doers and their community, between wrong-doers and society, a relationship wherein the healing of repentance has opportunity to arise. Echoes of belovedness sounding forth in justice, a justice that neither discriminates nor judges wrong-doers unworthy of healing and help, of restoration and reconnection to the circle of community.

It is an invitation into a circle of conversation, an intentional dialogue. Within this circle, those who have done wrong or injustice, who have caused suffering, have the opportunity to see the impact of their words and their action. Within this circle of conversation can be present an invitation to healing of broken relationships with self, community, the Creator.

An invitation for belovedness to come into the heart of the circle and heal …

A healing of the circle of relationships, with self and Creator. A healing of the circle of community. Restoring the wholeness of the circle as much as possible … instead of the circle remaining broken, the brokenness can be named, known, addressed, healed to whatever depth it can be healed.

Restorative justice gives individuals who’ve been caused suffering the opportunity to voice their pain, to voice it to the one who caused the suffering, and to be heard about what might help make things right. It gives the one who has caused the suffering the opportunity to voice their pain, their shame and sorrow over the suffering caused. Together, they can come to see each other’s suffering. Simply sitting with someone and allowing them to express their sorrow and shame can be a healing experience; this is a practice of deep listening, listening with belovedness, watering seeds of peace, forgiveness, healing grace.

It may not be an easy thing to come into such a circle and it must be facilitated with great care, skill, grace … but what value there is in opening up the possibility of reconciliation, reconnection!

In the circle of relationship is healing; the circle of relationship is healing. Restorative justice can help heal a cycle of suffering … keep the circle of healing whole, open and inclusive of all wounded souls.

****************

I have emphasized here the circle of relationship/community, and restoration of the brokenness in this circle, as key to a restorative justice. It’s not just about criminal justice approaches but also about everyday living, how we believe and be-love. I feel it as a matter of justice also to acknowledge that many specific restorative justice models used in North America now are grounded in a First Nations understanding of the circles of life and relationship, of community and justice. The circle is a beautiful and meaningful symbol of life and creation, of relationship, in many cultures, globally. It is surely beautiful and meaningful to me!

I’d like to leave you with these takeaway questions to consider (and even to discuss your thoughts with others – or me! 🙂 ).

How can you perhaps view the criminal justice system now and those caught in it from a different perspective? What does the concept of a circle (circles) of relationship mean to you, and how would you apply it to a way of living restoratively, doing justice?

Stepping out of the boat

/ Lanae / 1 Comment

This is a brand-new venture to me, one that in many ways does indeed feel like a ‘stepping out of the boat’ experience! Over the years, a few friends have broached to me the possibility of creating a blog, and while I loved to write and felt I had been granted a gift for it, I felt hesitant to put myself and my words, my thoughts, into public space. Much safer, perhaps, to leave them in a private journal! (And besides that, it’s much easier to start up a journal – just get a nice notebook, maybe with a cool design on the front, a good pen, and start writing. I feel a bit overwhelmed with all the blog design logistics and possibilities, but I’m learning, and I’ll keep learning, and maybe tweaking, as I go!)

It wasn’t only a matter of vulnerability, however, but that the time didn’t seem quite right; I didn’t feel prepared with a clear purpose, vision, or calling. But somehow, these things have settled into place, and so, when a good friend again encouraged me to start a blog, the answer within me was clear: “yes, now is the time!” Yes, time to use, to share, to open my gift in fresh ways, not be silent and not hide, even if it does feel like ‘stepping out of the boat,’ out of a comfort-zone into a challenge-zone.

The phrase ‘stepping out of the boat’ arose from a poem I was introduced to a few months, a poem that acted as an inspiration and affirmation of courage to take a bold risk at that time. I think it is just as applicable, just as affirming for me now, and perhaps it can be so for anyone reading it here too!

To sinful patterns of behavior that never get confronted and changed,
Abilities and gifts that never get cultivated and deployed –
Until weeks become months
And months turn into years,
And one day you’re looking back on a life of
Deep intimate gut-wrenchingly honest conversations you never had;
Great bold prayers you never prayed,
Exhilarating risks you never took,
Sacrificial gifts you never offered,
Lives you never touched,
And you’re sitting in a recliner with a shriveled soul,
And forgotten dreams,
And you realize there was a world of desperate need,
And a great God calling you to be part of something bigger than yourself –
You see the person you could have become but did not;
You never followed your calling.
You never got out of the boat

Gregg Levoy

Having begun, I hardly know where to start, except just to start! It might help a little to clarify why I chose the name I have chosen for this blog, what its story is. The word ‘belovedness’ has come to be very precious to me, as the way I experience my relationship with the Divine, but also as the way in which I want to be in relationship with others, with everyone. In my spiritual journey, I have come to know that I am beloved, that I live in Belovedness, and so this love, this belovedness, is what I want to pour forth in my being, my living, my writing.

I want to speak and write in belovedness, to send echoes of belovedness into the world, and to encourage, inspire, promote, and cultivate love, compassion, and justice. I may touch upon challenging topics at times, but always with earnest intent of speaking for and in belovedness. I’ll post happy things, grateful things, thoughtful things, playful things, joyful things, too … all are part of the echoes of belovedness!

There is, of course, a backstory, the narrative of my life’s journey, this path that I have followed in becoming who I am and who I am still becoming to be, this path to belovedness. Rather than begin with the sum of it, I’ll share as we go along together. And I do hope you all will come along, and help make this a space of honest, vulnerable conversation and connection, a place to learn and grow together!